Relationship Counselling: 6 Ways It Helps You Pick Up the Pieces After a Relationship Ends

A broken love heart sweet which said 'Be Mine' - handing help when a relationship ends

When your relationship ends, it seems as if someone has smashed your whole world to pieces. Relationship counselling, however, can help you get your life back together and move forward. Here’s how:

1. A chance to grieve 

Losing any relationship, especially one that has lasted for a long time, is a loss that needs to be recognised. Too often, when we experience a loss in our lives (a job, a loved one, etc.), we simply bury the painful emotions deep down inside and try to move on. Yet, those emotions and feelings are still there and remain unresolved. Relationship counselling can help by giving you a safe place to grieve and express yourself. Don’t worry if you can’t find the words; a counsellor will understand and can help you with that too.

2. Understanding why it ended

Sometimes, when your relationship ends, you are not told by your former partner why it ended, so you’re left wondering what went wrong. Other times, you might have to bear the brunt of your partner’s anger and resentment, even if it feels unfair. Either way, it might leave you feeling bewildered, confused and hurt. A counsellor can help you put things into context, to understand why the relationship ended, and how to learn from the experience.

3. Focusing on new goals

When your relationship ends, it seems as if your whole life has been put on hold. It becomes hard to look past the pain of what happened and consider the future. How will you move on? Is it even possible? Maybe, at the moment, it doesn’t seem likely, but in reality, you can find focus and start creating new goals. It will take time to heal, and it requires patience, but the important thing is that you keep up the conversation with your counsellor. You can create a positive future for yourself.

4. Learning new communication skills

As you look back and reflect on what happened with your former partner, you might come to realise that you could have been a better listener, or shown more compassion when they really needed you? Your counsellor can teach you better ways to communicate so you can avoid making the same mistakes next time.

5. Finding hope

Speaking of the next relationship, it is possible! Right now, you might not believe it could happen, but with time and active participation in the therapeutic process, it is possible to move on. You can find another partner, one who will love you for who you are. By reflecting on what happened, you can be better prepared to make the right choices so that your next relationship can be more successful than the last.

6. Caring for yourself

You can’t care for another person if you don’t love yourself. Most likely, you have heard this saying or a variation of it. But it really is true. Maybe one reason your previous relationship didn’t work out is because you were struggling with your own demons. A counsellor will help you recognise what went wrong and how to take action to overcome whatever might have been gatting in the way of a healthy relationship.

The end of a relationship is always a loss, and one that causes all kinds of ramifications for everyone involved. It might seem that they have shattered your life, but there is hope. With the help of a relationship counsellor, hard work, and time, you will can move on from this event in your life and find the healing you need. Why not reach out for some support today? You can call us on 0151 329 3637 or email enquiries@counselling-matters.org.uk. Alternatively, you can complete our online referral form. We look forward to hearing from you.

Picture by Lisa Zins via Flickr

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