Are you both worried about the impact infidelity can have on your relationship? Or, has there been a transgression by one or both of you in the past? Are you are looking to strengthen your marriage moving forward? The way to answer these questions is to have excellent communication skills.
Excellent communication skill #1: Identifying your emotions
When you experience serious — even disturbing — emotions, it’s often helpful to identify what exactly those emotions are and why you are experiencing them. A serious incident, such as an affair, will bring out powerful emotions such as anger, but what are the underlying feelings? Perhaps that anger stems from betrayal and having previous experiences of betrayal in your past. Being able to identify your emotions allows you, in turn, to better communicate your feelings with your partner.
Excellent communication skill #2: Expressing your emotions
Being able to express your emotions healthily is an extremely important part of good communication within a relationship. Remember, communication is not just what you say, but how you say it as well. If you become angry, and take that anger out physically, such as by breaking something, it sends an obvious message to your partner. Instead, if you and your partner can learn to express your feelings appropriately, while still being honest about your emotions, you can both move forward.
Excellent communication skill #3: Understanding
We all want and need to be understood. This is another way that having excellent communication skills can help you and deepen your relationship. When both of you are able to communicate clearly and intentionally, you can create understanding between each other. With understanding comes acceptance and the potential for finding common ground for both of you.
Excellent communication skill #4: Resolution
Whether it is determining who cleans the dishes or trying to understand your partner’s behaviour, when you have excellent communication skills you are able to find a resolution to the problem. Remember, though, that resolution doesn’t have to mean being completely happy. You may still have lingering feelings that need to be addressed. However, you can at least be satisfied with the resolution.
h2>Excellent communication skill #5: Breaking the cycle
When you have excellent communication skills, you can break the cycle that can lead to affairs to happen in the first place. These actions and feelings, for example, are a cycle that can lead to infidelity.
- Feeling hurt from perceived or actual slights from one another.
- Not feeling understood.
- Being drawn away from each other through misperceptions.
- Looking for understanding from others apart from your partner.
- Becoming romantically involved with another person, causing an affair.
When you communicate more effectively, you have a better chance of staying in love instead of losing that love. You stay in love because you continue to feel understood, desired and accepted by your partner.
How to Build Excellent communication skills
Creating and learning how to use these tools takes time and work, but it is possible. For example:
- Be open to the process and willing to try something different, even if it makes you uncomfortable
- Practice your communication skills, risk making a mistake, and have the motivation to keep going
- Be willing to work together as you both master these skills
It is important to note that working with a therapist is very helpful when navigating this process. Instead of blindly reaching in the dark for answers, you have a guide who can coach you on these skills, provide insight, and help you master these communication tools.
Communicating is an important part of any relationship. It helps prevent a whole host of problems including infidelity. By working together, being open to the process, and collaborating with a therapist, both you and your partner can affair-proof your marriage through excellent communication skills.
Getting further help
.Whether you’re looking to build communication skills, help build resilience in your relationship, or recovering from infidelity, counselling might help. Our experienced counsellors would be thrilled to work with you to achieve your particular goals. Why not reach out for an appointment today? You can call us on 0151 329 3637 or email email@example.com, alternatively complete our online referral form. We look forward to hearing from you.