Lost the Spark? – 6 Simple Steps to Intimacy in Your Relationship

A couple kissing in a field - Reclaiming the Intimacy in Your Relationship

In some ways, relationships are like a plant. They both require constant nourishment in order to grow and stay healthy.

So, are you feeding yours?

Or has your relationship gone stale? Maybe you and your partner are stuck in the same old rut?

If this sounds like your relationship, follow these six steps towards reclaiming intimacy in your relationship.

Redefine date night

Date night is always one of the go-to pieces of advice when reclaiming intimacy. This makes sense, as going on a weekly date helps to carve out time just between the two of you as a couple. However, even date night can get stale: going to the same restaurant or the movies all the time.

Why not instead turn date night on its head and try something completely different? Of course, this doesn’t have to be skydiving (even though that might definitely be different!).

Think about what is available in your community that fits within your available time and financial budget. Doing something our of your normal routine will help keep things interesting for both of you. If money is tight, consider doing something special at home instead. With more and more shows being streamed, why not have a special evening in? Dressing for the occasion and sharing a bottle of wine can make it feel like an extraordinary occasion.

Be tender

Intimacy does not have to be confined to the bedroom. There are plenty of opportunities when you can have moments of intimacy.

For example:

  • Kissing each other goodbye before leaving the house
  • Holding hands
  • Giving hugs

In fact, research shows that hugs, especially, help you feel relaxed. Hugging causes stress hormones to drop and helps you both feel closer and more attached to each other.

Prepare a meal together

Nothing brings couples closer together than food! Cooking is a soulful experience that requires both of you to slow down and focus together on preparing the meal.

Even better, create an ambience where the two of you can share the meal together without distractions. Perhaps adjust the lighting or use candles instead. Whatever you can do to make the experience more about each other.

Make it a screen-free date

Along those lines of focusing on each other, strive to make these experiences screen-free zones. A mobile phone makes for an easy distraction. When you allow yourself to be drawn away to check your emails or respond to a message, you are sending the wrong message to your partner.

What you are saying, through your actions, is that whatever is happening on your phone is more important than your partner. That’s not helpful if you are trying to create more intimacy!

Plus, although watching a movie at home can be fun, it doesn’t necessarily help you create a stronger relationship connection. Instead, make sure that your intimate moments are screen-free. Your eyes need to be on each other.

Do something physical together

Exercise not only feels good, but it can also bring you closer together. Research has shown that couples who exercise together experience greater relationship satisfaction. Couples also feel more in love with each other.

Additionally, exercise releases hormones that have a positive impact on your mood. And, of course, regularly exercise provides plenty of physical health benefits, too.

If you and your partner don’t already exercise, consider joining a gym together, sign up for a fitness class or something similar. Note, though, that it’s always worth checking in with your GP before undertaking strenuous physical activity for the first time, especially if you haven’t been very active before.

Get outdoors

Perhaps one of the most perfect ways to build intimacy in a relationship is spending time outdoors.

It can combine all the other steps mentioned:

  • Turning off your mobile phones (or leaving them at home)
  • Going for a hike or a bike ride, which is physical activity
  • Planning ahead and packing along a lunch to eat together
  • Holding hands or cuddling together under a tree or by a scenic overlook
  • Letting it be an out-of-the-box adventure that redefines your typical dates

There is no one big secret for reclaiming intimacy in your relationship. Rather, it takes work and some good planning. But, in the end, the rewards are well worth all the effort!

Image by Pana Kutlumpasis from Pixabay


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